Reflections on the past year

falling down and the need to be uncomfortable

Photo credit: Ethan Neville

Another year has passed and like many people I become a bit reflective this time of year. 2023 was a huge year for me. Extremely challenging and a lot of being out of my comfort zone. I am having a hard time acknowledging the wins of this past year. I started a business and had my first full year of my adult life being self employed. I’ve accrued some debt and haven’t been in the best physical shape of my life but my kids are healthy and aren’t causing nearly as much trouble as I did at their age. I tried to develop stronger, healthier habits with some success. More often than not though, I would slide back into old routines after a few months as life got busy again. Why is it that I’m so hard on myself? I tell myself that if I don’t do something perfectly every time, then I’ve basically failed. The reality is that I’ve grown a lot. Understanding how to build solid business relationships has resulted in keeping my struggling new business afloat. I’ve had more honest conversations with people and set clearer boundaries than ever before, improving the quality of my relationships. I continue to challenge myself creatively which keeps me grounded, prevents the dreaded “in a rut” syndrome and leaves me filled with more peace and occasional moments of serenity.

I was feeling pretty stressed towards the end of December as I finished out the last of my holiday parties. Looking towards my work calendar for January and February, I could feel some anxiety setting in. It was pretty empty. Well… here I sit.. following through on a commitment to write more and contemplating how in the world I’m going to get everything on my todo list completed. Within the last few days my schedule has become beyond full and although I’m wondering how in the hell I’ll pull it all off, I’m grateful and excited about the opportunities that lay in front of me. The world can truly seem to change in a single moment, but did it really? The entire last year of continuously falling down, getting back up and pushing, moving forward every time has created more possibilities than I could have imagined.

I will undoubtably face many challenges in the coming year and will surely fail to perform at the high level I expect from myself at times. I also know that the hard work counts. I’ll get back up and back on track. I’ll have some huge wins. I’ll laugh, cry, have moments of self doubt and days when I feel on top of the world and invincible. I’ll try to always do the right thing but find myself second guessing decisions. I do know that I will thrive and grow. It’s just not comfortable anymore to sit and be comfortable. It’s going to be great day and year with plenty of ups and downs. Now that I’ve given myself this little pep talk it’s time to go cook some shit!! Much love and a happy New Year to you all.