From Pen to Pan

writing and cooking from the heart

I continued to write, pouring everything in my head and heart out on to the page. I would often  read over the previous days writing thinking to myself, no one will find anything interesting or helpful in any of this, but once in a while, something I wrote would really click. I could feel how powerful it was, welling up with emotion as I reread it. At this point I wasn’t really writing for anyone else anyways. In many ways it was a lot like cooking. Early in my culinary career it was always about finding ways to make things that would make people happy, put a smile on their faces, I was constantly asking people how the food was. I didn’t really want an honest answer though. I was afraid my cooking was simply mediocre, which it probably was, but just like my writing every once in a while I’d make something that I knew was just outstanding. I didn’t need anyone to validate it or tell me how great the food was, I knew. When I tasted it, I was transported to another place and time. The experience of truly enjoying my own food slowly began to transform the way I felt about myself as a chef. I began cooking for me instead of other people. The same experience had begun to happen when I sat down to write. I was writing for me exploring parts of me that had been laying dormant for years. Coaxing out the fears and insecurities. I needed to grow as a person, as a human. Just as my cooking evolved and improved over the years, writing has started to become a part of me, something I must do in order to thrive and grow in this life. It’s still pretty difficult to get started. I can’t just pick up the pen (or keyboard) and immediately fall into a rhythm. The second I pick up a knife and begin to transform the ingredients in front of me I am at ease. Cooking comes naturally after decades of practice and maybe writing will be that way for me some day. That day is not today. As the initial fear that grips me before I pick up the pen begins to subside the words start flowing by the time I set the pen down I feel a little better, more at peace. So I’ll continue this journey, I have to. Writing is something that’s in me now. When I ignore it for too long I begin to get restless, just as I do when I have a creative dry spell in the kitchen. Well…. That’s enough for today. I’m doing a wine tasting event this evening with a few other chefs, preparing a five spiced duck breast appetizer with green tea soba noodles. Stay tuned for pictures. Tomorrow is soup day. I’m looking forward to more creative soup goodness. I’ve got lots of garlic and some purple potatoes. No idea how that will pan out but I know as soon as I pick up my knife it will flow out of me.